Light on the Horizon

A much needed change of events has occurred since my last post. First, I have spent time reading my scriptures diligently and praying (often). Second, I had a long discussion with my husband. And third, I spent time with some wonderful friends. These past few weeks have been a time of great reflection and problem-solving. Not only has my faith increased, but I am happier and hopeful.

(Picture taken from LDS Living) 

I have set abstract goals for myself which I will explore throughout the next few posts. They are:

1. Spending more meaningful time with my husband like reading scriptures, family prayer, and technology-free time. 
2. Keeping up blog writing while also limiting my time spent on more wasteful things like hours of social media browsing and watching television.
3. Working on tangible skills and talents like sewing, gardening, and learning to play an instrument. 
4. Creating a home that is more christ-centered and relaxing. 
5. Discovering what my working hands are meant for..

The last goal is a bit more abstract than the others and I will explain why. Part of my pondering over the last few weeks has led me to find I do not want to work like a normal person. What I mean by this is a job that is 9-to-5, has a promotion ladder, and runs on a never-ending money cycle. To clarify, I read a blog last week about a couple who had typical jobs and were fed up with the "cycle". They decided to quit their jobs to travel. They explained the "cycle" as getting a job to buy a car which leads to needing a garage for the car so you buy a house and now you need to fill the house. Before you know it you have all these material things you need to buy and maintain which leads you to having to work for the rest of your life to pay for these things. (I am pretty sure the explanation was not in those exact words but this is how I interpreted it.)


Life can be much more simpler than the aforementioned cycle. It can be beautiful, successful, and happy with a lot less than what society makes you believe you should have. Besides, when life comes to an end you cannot take anything with you except what you have learned on this earth.

I am in pursuit now of figuring out how to live a much simpler life. I want to serve God and my fellow man while learning and exploring as much of the world as I can. 

I will end this blog post now to announce how I am beginning to learn, explore and fulfill my goals. From September through October I will be traveling to Wales and England! I will be WWOOFing (wwoof.uk.org) the whole time which will give me a chance to grow my gardening knowledge and skills but I also plan to spend some time traversing the surrounding areas. Ultimately I want to be more spiritually in-tune from this trip and more experienced in how to live a simpler life. I will record the whole trip on here so you can be sure to have some interesting reading material usurping that time. 

Happy Until! 

Brittnee

The Passage of Time

Since I have last written, the progression of change and time has continued. I have made no efforts to stop change, but have readily welcomed it with open arms, that is, until now. 

Over the past few months, I have tried many new things, some of which are actually old efforts, but have resurfaced for me to take a new stab at. For example, I took up a new diet for a month and exercised regularly for nearly two months. Of course, because of my lack of self-discipline, I gave up those efforts when other obligations came up. 

Also, I took up the goal of reading my scriptures everyday. I am proud to say that effort still lives on today, though I do have a few days in between where nothing gets read. However, I would like to believe I have made progress with my coming closer to Christ and Heavenly Father. 

On the other hand, my emotional visage has worn down and the parts of my life I kept masked within this visage are rising up with a vengeance. My close friends and family are aware of my deep struggles hidden in me, not to the fullest extent, but to the point where they can understand my emotional fluctuations. Struggling successfully I may have done with these past afflictions, they have overrun my mind for a while and forced me to ponder on my future. Living with these past afflictions is possible, I know, but that definition of life is far from what I deem a life of happiness. 

From the last few days of being buried in my thoughts, I discover I need a change to help me continue on in a way that is both pleasing to me and to my Heavenly Father. This change I mention is, like I said, not joyfully received. Change on a small scale is easy to manage and control. The change I need would be like forcing a river to flow the opposite direction its been going since it was formed on the first day. I know in my heart this change is good, but to remold twenty-something years of opinion is frightening. To enlighten your minds with the fury of my thoughts, I give you a summation of them: 

 (My) Life has been a series of opinions unsolicited from everyone around me. I have let society shape my opinion of who I should be and become. I have allowed the world to tell me what is right and wrong (not in a moral sense because I set those firmly on a foundation of Christ's teachings) in the sense of what life should be like. And all the while this is happening, I have had burdens placed upon me that make it hard to live everyday in accordance with what society said I should be striving for. Now I finally have come to the realization that I don't like the world. I don't actually like wasting hours on technology (what a hypocrite I am, I know) or pouring my time into hastening the spoils of the world in selfishness and greed. I want to find another way to live. I am afraid of the effort I will need to make to change and this effort may only end in a great mess. However, I am equally afraid of the day that will come (for I know it is a certain fate) when after some time of continuing on the same path I am on I will burst into a frantic state mixed with pain and anger. 

I tell you all this not to gain pity or love but to find understanding among others. I know out there in the world are like-minded characters who possess natural sympathies towards what I am feeling. I endeavor to catalog my changes which are slightly different than the ones I mentioned at the start of this blog. I hope you will continue on this journey with me in whatever form it may take on.