Light on the Horizon

A much needed change of events has occurred since my last post. First, I have spent time reading my scriptures diligently and praying (often). Second, I had a long discussion with my husband. And third, I spent time with some wonderful friends. These past few weeks have been a time of great reflection and problem-solving. Not only has my faith increased, but I am happier and hopeful.

(Picture taken from LDS Living) 

I have set abstract goals for myself which I will explore throughout the next few posts. They are:

1. Spending more meaningful time with my husband like reading scriptures, family prayer, and technology-free time. 
2. Keeping up blog writing while also limiting my time spent on more wasteful things like hours of social media browsing and watching television.
3. Working on tangible skills and talents like sewing, gardening, and learning to play an instrument. 
4. Creating a home that is more christ-centered and relaxing. 
5. Discovering what my working hands are meant for..

The last goal is a bit more abstract than the others and I will explain why. Part of my pondering over the last few weeks has led me to find I do not want to work like a normal person. What I mean by this is a job that is 9-to-5, has a promotion ladder, and runs on a never-ending money cycle. To clarify, I read a blog last week about a couple who had typical jobs and were fed up with the "cycle". They decided to quit their jobs to travel. They explained the "cycle" as getting a job to buy a car which leads to needing a garage for the car so you buy a house and now you need to fill the house. Before you know it you have all these material things you need to buy and maintain which leads you to having to work for the rest of your life to pay for these things. (I am pretty sure the explanation was not in those exact words but this is how I interpreted it.)


Life can be much more simpler than the aforementioned cycle. It can be beautiful, successful, and happy with a lot less than what society makes you believe you should have. Besides, when life comes to an end you cannot take anything with you except what you have learned on this earth.

I am in pursuit now of figuring out how to live a much simpler life. I want to serve God and my fellow man while learning and exploring as much of the world as I can. 

I will end this blog post now to announce how I am beginning to learn, explore and fulfill my goals. From September through October I will be traveling to Wales and England! I will be WWOOFing (wwoof.uk.org) the whole time which will give me a chance to grow my gardening knowledge and skills but I also plan to spend some time traversing the surrounding areas. Ultimately I want to be more spiritually in-tune from this trip and more experienced in how to live a simpler life. I will record the whole trip on here so you can be sure to have some interesting reading material usurping that time. 

Happy Until! 

Brittnee

The Passage of Time

Since I have last written, the progression of change and time has continued. I have made no efforts to stop change, but have readily welcomed it with open arms, that is, until now. 

Over the past few months, I have tried many new things, some of which are actually old efforts, but have resurfaced for me to take a new stab at. For example, I took up a new diet for a month and exercised regularly for nearly two months. Of course, because of my lack of self-discipline, I gave up those efforts when other obligations came up. 

Also, I took up the goal of reading my scriptures everyday. I am proud to say that effort still lives on today, though I do have a few days in between where nothing gets read. However, I would like to believe I have made progress with my coming closer to Christ and Heavenly Father. 

On the other hand, my emotional visage has worn down and the parts of my life I kept masked within this visage are rising up with a vengeance. My close friends and family are aware of my deep struggles hidden in me, not to the fullest extent, but to the point where they can understand my emotional fluctuations. Struggling successfully I may have done with these past afflictions, they have overrun my mind for a while and forced me to ponder on my future. Living with these past afflictions is possible, I know, but that definition of life is far from what I deem a life of happiness. 

From the last few days of being buried in my thoughts, I discover I need a change to help me continue on in a way that is both pleasing to me and to my Heavenly Father. This change I mention is, like I said, not joyfully received. Change on a small scale is easy to manage and control. The change I need would be like forcing a river to flow the opposite direction its been going since it was formed on the first day. I know in my heart this change is good, but to remold twenty-something years of opinion is frightening. To enlighten your minds with the fury of my thoughts, I give you a summation of them: 

 (My) Life has been a series of opinions unsolicited from everyone around me. I have let society shape my opinion of who I should be and become. I have allowed the world to tell me what is right and wrong (not in a moral sense because I set those firmly on a foundation of Christ's teachings) in the sense of what life should be like. And all the while this is happening, I have had burdens placed upon me that make it hard to live everyday in accordance with what society said I should be striving for. Now I finally have come to the realization that I don't like the world. I don't actually like wasting hours on technology (what a hypocrite I am, I know) or pouring my time into hastening the spoils of the world in selfishness and greed. I want to find another way to live. I am afraid of the effort I will need to make to change and this effort may only end in a great mess. However, I am equally afraid of the day that will come (for I know it is a certain fate) when after some time of continuing on the same path I am on I will burst into a frantic state mixed with pain and anger. 

I tell you all this not to gain pity or love but to find understanding among others. I know out there in the world are like-minded characters who possess natural sympathies towards what I am feeling. I endeavor to catalog my changes which are slightly different than the ones I mentioned at the start of this blog. I hope you will continue on this journey with me in whatever form it may take on. 

The Bubble Gum Machine Mentality and Inspiration

Recently, the sister missionaries in my ward came over for dinner with me and my sister in-law. I expressed to them the feelings I had about visiting teaching and one of them read a scripture to me. The scripture (not remembering the particular book/chapter/verse) spoke about changing for the better (similar to this one Mosiah 5:2) and how we sometimes do not realize how far we have come or how much we've changed. The sister missionary (Sister Parsons!) explained to me that it was good to be concerned for the inactive sisters of the ward and, although it felt like a lot of responsibility to take on, it was me learning the importance of visiting teaching. Now, when the other sister missionary (Sister Helms!), heard the subject on change she suggested I read an article found in the April 2014 issue of the Ensign titled "Beyond the Bubble Gum Machine".

"Beyond the Bubble Gum Machine" tells an account of one woman's lesson on faith and blessings. The short version is she learned that blessings do not work like a bubble gum machine where you put in faith or a good act and immediately a blessing pops out. Blessings come after the trial of our faith and only by the Lord's will.

I have had this same lesson recently, though I did not think of the experience as a bubble gum machine. Looking back on the lesson I can say with a certainty, I had this bubble gum machine mentality. What is different about our experiences, mine occurred a few years after being a member of the church, while the woman's occurred shortly after becoming a member. It is a little disappointing for me to realize that I had this mentality, but I know I needed to learn this lesson.

The scripture verse that has taken me out of the mentality and helped me gain a better testimony is 2 Nephi 31:19-21. I may have mentioned this scripture before, but these particular verses, I believe, embody what latter day saints believe.

2 Nephi 31:19-21 say:

"19: And now, my beloved brethren, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save. 20: Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life. 21: And now, behold, my beloved brethren, this is the way; and there is none other way nor name given under heaven whereby man can be saved in the kingdom of God. And now, behold, this is the doctrine of Christ, and the only and true doctrine of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, which is one God, without end. Amen."

I received this scripture verse after hearing my local stake presidency use it in a talk and visiting the temple later that week. To my surprise, a speaker at the General Women's Broadcast on the 29th of this month also referenced this scripture. This scripture has helped me persevere through the hard times I had recently and keep my faith. I truly know that we will be blessed and happy if we press forward through our trials.

This scripture and experience with the sister missionaries and the broadcast inspired and humbled me. I have a testimony of this church and I will not be shaken from it. I know many people who are not members complain about how much we try to convert others and share our faith. I can give you the reason why we can get a bit over zealous about sharing our faith: Happiness! I know those of us who are truly living the gospel are very happy and we want others to feel the happiness we are blessed with everyday. Now that you know, I hope you will understand a bit more and forgive us if we seem excited to share the gospel with you.

Peace, the Temple, and Spreading the Gospel

For quite some time my soul was in great tumult. I could not quiet the feelings of stress and racing thoughts of doubt and sorrow. Life is cruel at times and trials come unexpectedly. But Heavenly Father knows what he is doing and is there if we only choose to reach out to him. 

My sister in-law went to the temple on February 8th and received her endowments. Many people were there to support her including me. Before that day came, I received a special message that I would not realize was made especially for me (at least it felt that way). 

A local church leader-President Dohm-mentioned a scripture verse in his Sunday talk at church. 2 Nephi 31:20. I read this and scripture and to me it was beautiful. Then at the temple the following Saturday for my sister in-law, I felt a prompting to read the scripture verses before and after 20. 2 Nephi 31:19-21 has now become a daily challenge for me. I think about it often. After reading them at the Temple, I knew everything was going to be okay. Peace came over me that day and I felt a sense of relief. Since then I have tried my best to endure and follow the guidance of the Spirit. 

This same sweet spirit has led me to become more involved in visiting with investigators with the sister missionaries. During our lessons and sessions with investigators, I follow the promptings of the Spirit to speak up and add something when needed. It's humbling visiting with others in their home and seeing their countenances change when they feel the spirit. 

Though I do not visit teach with current members as much as I should, I am making a goal to do so. I have a testimony of this church and of the happiness of following it in my life. Like no other church, I feel peace, happiness and joy when I am participating in Sunday activities, reading my scripture, praying, and exercising my faith in the gospel. I know for a fact the gospel offers me what no material objects or other experiences can give me. This knowledge has created in me a desire to tell everyone I know about this wonderful gospel. 

My name is Brittnee. I am a wife, college graduate, travel enthusiast, and I'm a mormon.

Life and the Pursuit of Whatever You Want

Recently, I was speaking with a friend about choosing your own happiness. The phrase "you choose your own happiness" is easier said than done. When my friend told me this phrase annoyed her, I had to agree. I thought if anyone said that to me face-to-face I'd probably punch them and say, "that makes me happy".

In all seriousness, though, choosing your own happiness can be done, but it is hard to do. With every choice, or action, there is a consequence, or reaction. The majority of the time the consequence is out of our control. Therefore, we may take the necessary actions to make ourselves happy, but its the consequences that have affected our environment including the people that can make us unhappy. It is not to say that every outcome from our actions is not good, but it needs to be recognized that we cannot always choose what happens to us even if we make our own (generally accepted standard of good)choices.

Now here comes the other part we can control (besides our actions): our reaction to the outcome. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said: "It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life's story will develop." Our reaction to adversity is very important because it is how we handle the consequences of our actions (or other adversity) that determines our happiness.

It probably seems like I should punch myself now, but I will add that controlling our reaction to adversity is hard. So when people say it so easily that we choose our own happiness, well it makes me a little annoyed. There is one more thing to this as well. Pursuing what we want, whatever it may be (I say this with the thought in my mind that everyone is trying to pursue something to the extent of a generally accepted standard of good), can make us happy.

I read an article on Yahoo! that spoke about a woman who was receiving an onslaught of threats and negative tweets because of an article she wrote about her dislike for young mothers. The link will be at the bottom of this post. Though I'd like to agree with some of the negative tweets, I have to say what does it matter? The woman who wrote the article and young mothers out there have all made a choice to live their lives how they want. If we have any right left it is that we choose to pursue whatever we would like to. So what good does it do anyone putting down on someone else's choices? From what I have seen it does not do any good.

So as far as my opinion goes, you have the right to pursue happiness, but please do not put down on someone else's path to happiness.

Link to Yahoo! article: http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/blogger-slams-motherhood--gets-death-threats--here-we-go-again--210630664.html

What It Means To Me

Adjusting Views will be my journal to help me catalog the events of my life this year. Though it may be of no concern to anyone what happens to me regularly (I lead a pretty uneventful life), it will help me keep track of my progress this year.

I realized, in 2013, some important things about myself. I was becoming a person I did not like and I was not living the life I had imagined for myself. This is not to say I started the year off that way nor that I did not have some good times during that year. However, as the year passed away and school became harder, I changed. I grew to feel like I was betrayed. I did what I could in the way of keeping the commandments and doing what my Heavenly
Father has asked of me, but by the end of the year my trials were only harder.

After a few road bumps, I have been able to sit back and make some interesting discoveries about myself.

• I have an intense desire to travel throughout my life.
• I have a low self-worth.
• I am hypocritical.
• I have trials that will last for my whole life. 

At the end of 2013, I could not believe that I had not been rewarded with having my trials gone away. I was not any happier at the end of the year than I was at the beginning. Some counseling from my bishop and a psychiatrist led me to scour my gospel library app and lds.org for some videos or scriptures that could help me with my feeling of betrayal and my lack of faith.

One particular video spoke about the atonement of how it can take our pain away, not just pain and sorrow from our own sins, but of the pain caused by someone else's sins. For me, though, I needed something more. I knew the pain I harbored would not go away fully. Then that is when I started to wonder why my Heavenly Father could not take this pain away if it plagued me so much. I had been praying and the word endure kept coming to mind. It was not until I went to dinner with a friend and talking to her about the word that I realized what Heavenly Father was trying to tell me.

And then I went to church today and a counselor in my stake presidency read a scripture that completed the message Heavenly Father was trying to give me. It reads: "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life." (2 Nephi 31:20)

So, my unique trials may never go away, but if I endure it out and press forward, I will be rewarded.

I am adjusting my views this year of my life, my situation, and the world around me so that I can become closer to Christ and my Heavenly Father. I leave you with two quotes from two of my favorite leaders of the Church.

"It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life's story will develop." - President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"Hope on. Journey on."- Elder Jeffrey R. Holland